Not About Me

Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call Him Immanuel.
-Isaiah 7:14


Christmas is a giving time. It is the season of selflessness, the joy of an undeserved but eternal gift. The month of miracles.

So why am I being so selfish? Why do I take it as I see around me- brown, dull, looming skies, and not for the feeling that once stirred so much inside me? Why do I look for a sign to see that this season is going my way? It’s as if I have this cookie cutter idea of what I expect the holiday to be, and the actual event is a fraction of an inch different than my expectations, I moan and marvel at how it just doesn’t seem like the way I knew before.

If I step back and assess my actions, it appears I am trying to make the season about me. It’s different for me this year, for various reasons. My schedule’s changed; it doesn’t allow time for gifts or greetings or even, dare I admit it, reflection on the origin of the celebration in the first place. I may have even reshaped my heart a bit, whether conscious of it or not. Somehow, in my twisted, self-absorbed brain, I’ve made it about what I can get from the hustle and bustle. How did I get my worship so warped?

I don’t have snow? It’s likely the first family of faith wasn’t greeted with flurries, either. But a storm stirred inside the manger that night, anyway. The storm of our salvation.

I don’t have time to take a breath? I doubt Mary did through all the months she carried our Savior, past the stares and jeers and endless travel on a donkey as she longed for a place of rest yet not to find it in a foreign land.

I have preconceived notions of the holiday? The first Christmas had no agenda or structure, other than a newborn to sleep quietly and build His soul’s strength before starting the quest to conquer death.

A star appeared. The angels sang. Wisemen journeyed across countries by camel. There’s the sign- God’s divine destiny. It all happened. As planned, according to the Father’s design, smoothly and without worry. And it was the best CHRISTmas ever.

Perhaps I have been too occupied with my to-do list rather than my to-Who list. After all, we wouldn’t even have a holiday to humble ourselves before had it not been for that silent night many years ago.

It’s time for me to slow down. Time for me to reflect and repent, and to fall at the tiny feet of Him who gave me the greatest, most freeing gift of all. The gift that granted me the right to celebrate life- His life, my life, our life- in the first place.


Prayer:
Sweet Jesus, how quickly I forget what Christmas is all about. How easily I get distracted and think the world’s turned upside down if the season doesn’t go as I planned. Help me remember why I am here amongst the twinkling lights, why I kneel at the small bed of my Savior. Amen.