Give Me Rest

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
–Matthew 11:28


As I write this, I am mere feet from the lapping waves of Lake Michigan. My bench is a large driftwood log lodged with sand. There is no one else around, like I have slipped off the radar to nestle myself in a quiet nook on the shore. A steady rhythm taps against the tiny rocks, smooth with years of washing by the water. Wisps of clouds hang in the azure sky, mirroring the sparkle of the lake with a shimmer of its own. I am kissed by the breeze, which runs renewing fingers through my hair. After suffocating weeks of strained sleep and an ever-running mind, for the first time I am full of peace, drifting in the soothing salve of restoration.

I have taken on too much, cramming every spare minute with some activity, some appointment, something to take the place of just laying still with God. I thought I could fit Him in when I had time, then marveled at the realization that I found no more time to give. Each night I’d burn my lamp into the early morning hours, contemplating whether I was doing enough for Him or if I’ve been falling into a selfish timetable. The more I slammed into my schedule, the emptier I felt inside. I was a caffeinated, chocolate-addicted ticking time bomb who couldn’t even arrange her prayers into coherent sentences. I made a mess of myself and had no idea how to clean up.

I was to meet a friend for a photography adventure, but at the last second it had to be rescheduled. I went to the spot we were to shoot at anyway, just feeling like I should. As I drove to my God spot, I felt a calm come over me. It grew stronger as I stepped onto the wooden footbridge beckoning me into the nature preserve and I admired the budding trees overhead. The sky blazed a trail of clouds to the bluff, where I sat cross legged and pasted my gaze to the lake, which sang out its welcome to me. For a time I couldn’t think, couldn’t blink, couldn’t form proper praise. I just breathed, “Thank You.” Because in the ten minutes I’d been there, He filled me with such wonder and rejuvenation the past weeks washed away like the sand beneath the waves. Peace. His peace. What a gift.

And so here is where you find me- still in this special spot, secluded and serenaded by the God of my fathers, Who was, always is, and is to come.

Rest in Him, too, Beloved. We weren’t meant for chaos and hectic hearts. We were made for whispers and stolen, secret moments with our Love in this great romance.


Prayer:
Father, thank You for this fleeting moment, let it last beyond this day into the weeks and months ahead. In You I am recharged, in this tranquil moment You give rebirth to my shriveling heart. Create in me a soothed soul, that I may feel Your peace always. Amen.

Draw Near

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings.
-Hebrews 10:22


Draw me near to You, for I have strayed too far from the safety of Your arms. When I was near You, the fire could not harm me. Now, I extend my hand and flames wrap around my twitching fingers. When I lived by Your law, I walked with You upon the water. Now, each step I take drags me deeper under the waves. When I saw Your eyes in the stars, each twinkle held a shared secret. Now, the cosmos look cool and distant, shards of glass in darkness. When I skinned my knee, I saw Your sacrifice in the crimson flow. Now, I feel the pain cut through me with intent to scar.

I sensed You rushing through me in every song, in every sliver of surprise, in every quiet space. You whispered in my ear words no one else would understand. And no one else could, for You wanted them to touch my heart only. We shared smiles at dawn and dreams at dusk; I placed my fragile fears into Your hand.

You promised to be by me always, to lead and love. And because of this I have walked with steady steps. Yet I trip over my clumsy feet and stray my eyes from the road before me. I veer off to the detour and I do not ask for directions.

You watch me shuffle along, head straight into the fog of uncertainty. You let me bruise my arms and bash my heart. I wear myself out so quickly on my own. Now, I am running on one leg, I am tangled in my own shortcomings. Now, when I search the crowd I cannot see Your face. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss Your encouraging eyes until I matched them with the pupils of so many others, each glazed and empty behind their veil.

I need You singled out. I need You standing while everyone lowers themselves in the stands. I need Your steady arms holding me, warming up my frozen heart. And I need to feel You coursing through my bloodstream, pumping furiously to the chambers that keep me alive.


Prayer:
Father, I know that I am empty, that there is a void only You can fill. Please let me see You, feel You in all I do, in each breath I take. Set me back on my feet, clasp my tightly to You. Amen.

His Heart Weeps With Mine

Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”
-John 11:35-36


I am alone in my home and heart. Years of hurt and humiliation enter unannounced, uninvited. They attack me, and I am unprepared. I am tried. I am tired. I am falling. Insecurities wrap around my heart and squeeze, collecting my delicate hopes to send them spiraling to the ground, one by one. With them fall drops of tears, taking their time to skid down my skin. In the darkness of my fear, I am swimming in sorrow.

But there are other tears mingling with mine. They are sweeter, softer, they overshadow my own. Against my cheek, He rests His face. My pains, my deepest depravations that burn within dwell in His heart, too. Gently, He pries the broken pieces from my clutching fingers and fastens them to His pierced palms. And in that transaction, I cry no more. My eyes dry like daisies in the sunlight after a summer storm, my soul drains of doubt and fills with firelight. I am loved. He calls me beautiful. And I believe.

Our Lord weeps when we do, but He also turns our tears to triumphs.


Prayer:
Thank You for being with me, through the ups and downs, the tears and the triumphs. No matter where I am or how I am feeling, You are right there with me, wrapping Your secure arms around me in comfort. May I always come to You when I am feeling alone. Amen.

Be Bold

The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.
-Proverbs 28:1


I see God wherever I go, in whatever I do. He is with me, ever present, always aware of my struggles and joys. I feel Him like He is sitting right next to me, and I am constantly reminded of His relentless love for me. He is my confidant, my friend in whom I dish my deepest fears and desires. The whistle of the wind is His voice serenading me on a turbulent day. A sunset is His smile comforting my colorless sky. He is my all, my treasured triumph, and it is by His grace alone that I can come before Him as His child. I am forever grateful for His Son stepping up to bat for me, taking on my sins as His own, and allowing me a place in His Father’s kingdom.

Yet I find it most difficult to articulate this to others. I have a hope that never hungers, but when it comes to confessing why I am the way I am, I clam up. My throat tightens and my heart hammers beneath my rib cage. I can live my life to the fullest, my actions mirroring those of Christ. But to speak of the salvation freely offered to me and eagerly accepted? I may as well fill my mouth with cotton balls. There is a need in humanity to fill the void inside, and I know the missing piece. But no words escape my lips when I am presented with a perfect opportunity to express what makes me different.

Why? God does not call us to be timid; He calls us to be bold and believing. In this world, we will struggle. We will come up against those who don’t want to recognize His voice and mock us when we heed to His call. It is very easy to keep our mouths shut and avoid ridicule.

But there are others. Souls who yearn for comfort, crave the missing string that will tie their heart together. Maybe they’ve heard about God, believe He exists, but cannot grasp how personal and real He can be to them. Maybe they need to hear one line that sings to their echoing chambers, placed at the perfect time from the perfect person. Maybe that person is you or me.

Be bold. He will give you strength to speak. And He works in mysterious ways. Today could be the day someone’s life turns around, the day someone’s heart sings a new song. An everlasting song. Be brave, Beloved. A heart is throbbing, needing the restoring salve of a Savior.


Prayer:
Father, I love You. You are my Lord and You sent Your Son to save me. But I am afraid to speak out at times, afraid of stepping on toes and coming off too forward. Please empower me to be bold, be brave. Let Your light shine through not only my actions, but the words I say. Season them with salt, and do not let my cowardice of conversation stop You from speaking to someone who needs You desperately. Amen.

Tonight

Be still and know that I am God.
-Psalm 46:10


I’m here, Lord. Densely embedded in the forest of the unknown. And I know You told me it wasn’t going to be easy, that I wasn’t going to understand right away. And I was ok with that. So I walked into the thicket, because I trusted You. Trusted You knew what You were doing.

I still trust You. But I am human. And I think too much. Like Thomas, I need to see Your hands and feel physical proof. I want to see the whole picture, want to see the clearing. But I’m knee deep in leaves and surrounded by the sweet scent of juniper, aroma seeping into my skin. For a moment, I let my eyes drift closed, my ears drawing to the birds chirping through the evening air. Somewhere ahead of me, the path continues on. But I’ve strayed to the side to pick a bouquet of wildflowers, so vibrant and beckoning against the drooping sky. When the morning awakens I’ll fall back into step and observe Your world from my twisted, anxious eyes, longing for an answer to my destination dream.

But tonight, I’ll drop my body to a bed of boughs, a whispering of stars lain as a balcony above me. I’ll still my racing head, my throbbing heart, and settle my breathing to a soft exhale of expectancy. I am quiet in this velvet night, in this slumbering solitude. My questions won’t be answered tonight, and that’s ok. For You are serenading me with cicadas and the gentle song of the wind. Tonight. Tonight You are with me, hovering over me with a promise to get me through the night, get me through tomorrow. My eyes adjust to the dark, and silken shadows sway through these deep and dancing woods. I watch this beautiful ballet before falling asleep with Your sweet name resting delicately on my lips. You will sustain me for one more day, one more journey a little bit farther along. And if I make camp once again in the brambles and thistles, I know You’ll find me a smooth spot to sit, a soft place to rest my longing limbs.


Prayer:
Father, I know You know best. And at times, it is so very tempting to want to fast forward life and get to the big picture. But You don’t want me to miss a beautiful second of the world You created, don’t want me to miss one line in the story You are writing for me. Let me rest in You, know that You take care of me one day at a time, and that as long as You are with me, that’s all I need. Amen.

He Has Risen!

“He is not here; He has risen!”
-Luke 24:6


Life.
A blinding white crack
of the sky,
Heaven releasing,
a tomb rolled away.
Angels rejoicing,
the Lamb revealing
the glory of His Father.
We are no longer
held buried under
the weight of our burden,
the sting of death,
diminished.
Look.
Paint your eyes
across His face,
aflame with
unsurpassing beauty.
Feel.
The scars between
His palms,
tender testament
to a crime
punished
and forgotten.
A slice of sword
underneath
His beating
rib cage.
What once
held rust and ruin
sparkles
triumphant
in the Light.


Prayer:
Thank You for the good news of our salvation!! You have defeated death to bring us victory into eternity! Amen and Amen, hallelujah!!