Above the Blue

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. “You of little faith, He said, “why did you doubt?”
-Matthew 14:30-31


Blue.
Endless blue.

An ocean abounds, waves chopping around me, so high and jagged I cannot see the horizon. They dip, and I get a glance of the sky- briefly. The light blinds my eye. Then once again I am taken under, treading water, churning my arms and legs, and I have nowhere to go. I thrash, I feel panic rising in my throat and stealing the breath I have left in my lungs. Beneath my flailing limbs, the ocean floor looms thousands of feet beneath me, dark and heavy. I am sinking, pulling towards its depth. All the waves are crashing over me with resilience. I push against the water, dipping down and bursting up above the surface, battling time because my legs grow weak. But I know I am waiting for arms to reach out and save me. I know they will come, but I cannot see outside these waves, like a fortress towering over me. So much blue surrounds my body, my soul. I am drinking the color. The darkness grows larger and appears to rise up towards me.

But still I fight to stay afloat.

And then, out of the cerulean struggle, a hand.

Reaching out to pull me from the waves that consume me. Climbing over the blockades that kept me from the light, I measure my balance beneath shaky feet. I am stepping on the water; it is like a sheet of glass. I see the horizon, where it kisses the sea. Not a cloud forms around me.

He is with me, still holding my hand. We stand together. The sheet beneath our feet sparkles. My crystalline calm.



Prayer:
Father, You have grabbed my hand and drawn me from the rising waters. You have set me next to You, above the sea of darkness. I am free, I breathe, I see the sky. I am brought to new heights, because of You. Please renew my faith to stand above the waves that may still crash around me. Amen.