Unhinge

Sustain me according to Your promise, and I will live, do not let my hopes be dashed.  –Psalm 119:116

I am a bud, clasped shut.

I breathe vulnerability, preach openness, yet the fingers remain curled over my heart, tightly bound. The garden’s locked, the creek bed is bare. What keeps me from looking up in expectancy and letting myself be amazed at what You want to do in me? Why is it that I refuse to shed the armor and expose the skin of my soul?

You have made promises to me. Good and true and lasting commitments that can turn out better than I imagine. You have said You’ll keep me safe, so why am I so scared to take the step and fall? What prevents me from believing You to be big, and taking You at Your word? Have I not seen, time and time again, how You cradle me in Your arms and take care of me?

I know I must unhinge the hand squeezing my heart, must give my heart space to breathe, to pump in time again and flow through me. But I am afraid, though I must trust in You. Massage my heart, make it real and ready again. Deliver me from my doubt, spread Your loving presence around me, and warm me in Your reassurance that all will be well. Just unbind the strings sealing me shut. Peel open the petals; show me how to bloom.

Prayer:

Lord, I am holding onto my heart. It has been burned before and while I know Your truth, my fear causes me to be careful not to get too close. Help me believe You have what’s best for me, and that untying my heart will help me grow in ways I never imagined. Help me want to open up. Amen.