Cloud of Witnesses

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

-Hebrews 12:1

 

            Am I running in an empty arena, the echoes of my footsteps clearing out the cobwebs? Does my breath sound labored to my ears only? Do I dare keep my pace if there is no one to push me forward? I am lagging, my shoes slipping against the pavement, brain telling me I can go no farther.

            A figure catches my eye as I chase around the turn. She stands, watching me, counting my steps. I turn across the straightaway and see her face. It is kind. She lifts her mouth into a smile and I hear sweet words unfold into the air:

            “Keep pace, Dear One.”

            My legs pump beneath my body, buoyed by her encouragement. I continue on while she makes her way into the stands, taking a seat in the front row.

            I am moving quicker now, feeling light in my limbs. I finish my lap as another figure slips into the foreground. His strength is noticeable, softened by the tenderness of his clapping hands. He, too, has something to say.

            “Breathe, child. The air is sweet and your lungs are strong.”

            My head nods in acknowledgement, and I circle around while he walks to the first guest and sits beside her.

            My breathing is even, mind beautifully cleared. One by one, they trickle in, passing words and hope to me each turn I take. Soon one section is filled to capacity, then a second, a buzz building through the stands. They are cheering, slapping their hands in noisy jubilation, gazes trained on me. Through the electricity of the now filled stadium, I am shocked into new life.

            I start the last lap. The crowd erupts into an ear piercing plea for my finish. My feet are fast, eyes ahead, finding the prize just within reach.

            Half a lap to go. It’s madness in the stands. They are to their feet as I round the turn into the home stretch. My name begins somewhere from the top, flowing through the crowd like a rushing river. They believe in me. They believe I can do the impossible and succeed.

            In their voices there is hope. And I hear with an urgency that propels me closer and closer.

            Just a few more steps. One more push. Screams and cheers ignite. I have crossed the line. I have finished. And my heart fills with gratitude and overwhelming joy at the turnout who came to see me through, at the One who stands at the end of the track as I collapse in completion into His arms. His eyes are ablaze with the race results, and His smile stretches across the coliseum. When He speaks, His words wash over me like a much desired shower:

            “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

 

Prayer:

Father, let me run my race with precision, with perseverance and with passion. For the trail is scattered with temptation and roadblocks, and I do not want to stray off course. Thank You that You run with me, and that You send others through the course to cheer me on and encourage me in the life I live. May I run strong, and keep Your heart in my eyesight. Let me focus on my finish, and finding You smiling and pleased as I cross the last line. Amen.

Yours Alone

Find rest, O my soul,

In God alone;

My hope comes from Him.

-Psalm 62:5

 

I was born to love You,

spun with the fibers of Your fingers

to settle around Your shoulders.

I was meant to love You

with every match struck inside me,

igniting a fire that laces around my soul

but is never consumed.

I was created to be Yours

and Yours alone,

so why do I stray and search for love

in so many different places,

filling my time with doubt and

hoping with the most tender fibers

that this time, I won’t get it wrong?

I am a creature in Your form,

Stitched by Your soul.

I am at home.

Nowhere else am I meant to roam.

Prayer:

You continually draw me to Yourself. I tend to stray, but You set me straight and show me how I am pieced together by You with purpose. Help me to remember where I am, and Whose I am, as I walk beside You. Amen.

Ways Unfamiliar

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them.

-Isaiah 42:16

 

            Here I am again. Headfirst into the unknown. Wrapped in curiosity and blinded by events unforeseen that thrust me into a new beginning. It seems like I have been in these shoes and walked this way many times before. This time, I feel helpless to do anything. This time, all I can do is throw my hands up in the air and exhale, “Surrender! I surrender to You.” It is here I have to trust that where I see spots, You see the whole of the picture.

            Life is a grand adventure yet again. Did I plan to exit out of the comfort that carried me each day? No. Did I think I’d need to once again build myself up and burrow in Your wings for strength? No. But perhaps that’s what You’re intending with all this turmoil. Maybe my eyes were straining too far into the fields to see You standing beside me, and now You’ve rearranged my attention so we can walk this road together.

            It isn’t easy feeling insecure and discombobulated. It isn’t fun heading up the mountain when starting from the bottom. There’s such a long way to go, and the trail just keeps curving. But I am walking like I always do, one small step in front of the other. And You see what I cannot. I must trust. I must believe in what I cannot see. I must make this trek with Your heart in mine.

            Because I am stumbling yet again on this gravel laced path. I am heading into ways unfamiliar and will not be overcome. I am turning to You to see Your face that will calm me and direct me. And I am waving my arms to catch Your steady grasp.

Prayer:

Lord, once again I am thrown into uncertainty. I am in a land I do not know as I make my way through the wilderness. It is unexpected and unnerving, but I have to trust that You have made this choice for me, that You have paved the way and are waiting for me to walk with You. Please help me to keep my confidence in You and take this trail before me. Amen.

No Easy Way

Your path led through the sea,

Your way through the mighty waters,

though Your footprints were not seen.

-Psalm 77:19

 

            What part of this did You say would be easy?

            You didn’t say.

            You never guaranteed safe passage through this voyage of life. Never said we wouldn’t struggle, that we’d never be thrown curves in a series of fastballs. You said we would have troubles in this life. But You also said to take heart and not be afraid, because You have taken care of all things terrifying.

            And that You would be with us every length of the way. Even when Your footprints are not seen.

            You keep coaxing us out of the boat, to take a leg and swing it over the side to stand on water. To take one step into the sea, and then another.

            So we do. Warily, confidently, we lift our eyes to the light a thousand yards away. We move as if our feet were touching pavement.

            Then we sneak a glance over our shoulder and realize how far from the boat we are. And how far off You still seem to be. Suddenly, the ground beneath us shivers, and we find ourselves sinking. How fast our faith has faltered. How easily we sink beneath the surface.

            We are weighed down, but You arrive where we have fallen and reach beneath the surface to grab our arm and anchor us up. You brush off our bruises and hold us as we begin to understand the need to keep straining for the shore. You hand us a life vest in case we slip again, and guide us once more through the waves. And we want to please You, so we keep moving.

            You never guaranteed clarity in this murky world. You never stretched the winding streets before us into straight passage. You only warned us that the air would be full of flying arrows aimed at our heart. But You gave us a shield and a strength to navigate and protect us once we hit the open road.

            And, along the trail, lingering beside us, a pair of footprints follows, closely entwined with our own.

Prayer:

You never said it would be easy to take up my cross and follow You. You simply encouraged me to take heart that You are with me along the way. The road is long, the course uncharted. Please navigate me and reach out to me when I veer off course. You promise to be with me. I am holding You to it. Amen.

Today

“You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here.”

-Mark 16:6

            Today looks no different than any other. Same bare branches scraping across my window, same metallic gray and blue fusing together in the sky. Same sweet wind pushing through a thawing song. People wake, the earth sighs. Life arises to begin again.

            But inside me, I am teeming with newness. Inside me, I am seeing a day much like today. A rocky hole, birds singing, women trekking to the tomb. A blinding light, an angel flashing the news- Whom they seek is not here.

            Confusion on their faces, trembling excitement in their chest, the women flee to make sense of the scene. Wondering. Hope emitting the tiniest flecks of embers in their heart.

            Then You appear. Full fleshed, with scars on Your skin and light in Your eyes. You smile. You see the women who now recognize the prophesy come true. You watch their surprise turn to joy.

            And You turn Your face to me. Same fire ignited in Your eyes, same great grin. I touch the hands that held the nails, trace my fingers across Your side, feeling the fabric of my soul stitched in Your wounds.

            Today is a day that started like any other. But You have come alive again and stand before me, beaming with victory. My heart is rising, and my voice can be heard shouting Your name in glorious gratitude. My lover. My life. My knight that fought the battle for me and won.

            This day started like every day, but oh, how the light and triumph streaked across the sky and captured today as the day I was finally set free with His arrival.

 

Prayer:

Hallelujah! You are alive! Up from the grave, You came and conquered death so I may live. The battle won, the smile set, Your voice resounds in my head. Thank You for the gift of Your life through death, so I may be tied with you forever. Amen!

Hosanna

They took palm branches and went out to meet Him, shouting,

“Hosanna!”

“Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!”

-John 12:13

            What did the people think, as they saw You heading towards the Jewel City? What did they believe they would see? The survival of Your people? The placement of a new King? They had waited for Your arrival for millennia, and now You appeared, shifting Your weight on the seat of a donkey’s foal. How their eyes must have lit up, sparked to life by the glimpse of their Savior. How the whispers glided from mouth to mouth: “He is here! He has come! To free us from our chains of burden!”

            Branches snapped away from trees, laying as pavement on the dusty road ahead.

“Hosanna!” They shouted, dirt-specked faces full of hope.

“Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!”

Sandaled feet slapped the ground as the crowd ran beside You, arms and palm branches swaying in the air as You continued Your entrance into Jerusalem. How excited they grew. How expectant they were of Your reign.

You saw them coming from a distance. Felt their eagerness in Your heart. To fulfill Your Father’s words, the final stretch was spent on the back of a placid mule. The chanting reached Your ears.

“Hosanna!”

“Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!”

A bittersweet smile crossed Your lips. You had come to diminish darkness, but not from the seat of a throne. Rather, You would rule from the ruins of a tree, splayed in shame, broken for our burden. You would fight for Your people, without words, without lifting an arm in attack.

You knew what lay ahead, You knew what You would suffer. And You knew that the crowds welcoming You in with happy faces would turn sour and be among the first to seek to slay You.

Steadily You rode on, following the trail of palms and entering the city which waited to close in on You. To take You and beat You, drag You out and hoist You on a cross atop a hill.

Hosanna. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.

Prayer:

You took the fall for me. You knew what was in store for You and You rode on, into the grasp of darkness to turn it into light. Blessed be the One who comes in the name of the Lord. Amen.

So Many Hopes

I have put My words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of My hand- I who set the heavens in place, Who laid the foundations of the earth, and Who say to Zion, ‘You are My people.’”

-Isaiah 51:16

What is this space that statically floats around the atmosphere? Where does the void appear, blinking and endless, full of fangs and shadows? What gives the darkness permission to permeate the minds of humanity?

We are not eager for our destruction. Voices call out. Around and around they swirl, covered in excuses to stay stagnant yet growing a desire to grasp at grace. To hear a sound that becomes a symphony, to see a drop of water churned into a sea. To touch Your face and find a beauty unparalleled.

Reaching limbs, longing to bud and bloom in a soil stirred by hands of healing. Eyes that stretch to the farthest lands to appraise what can be built upon a fruitful foundation. Floundering fancies, carried and disbanded through the wind, breaking apart a brittle search for strength.

So many hearts, ripping themselves out of their cages. So many hopes, waiting to be revealed. So many searching, seeking after the answers to fill the gaps inside their souls. So many walking about this earth, aimless and empty of life.

If You hear our plea, hurry to our side. Skies are draped with despair and the air is heavy and smoky in our lungs. We are a desperate people, pleasing the sins of our soul, chained in lies and carrying around the weight of weariness on our crooked shoulders. We slip closer to the edge, defying the quiet inside us to catapult into chaos. Strangers in our skin, we scratch to be released into something more comfortable, a craving carried back in the caverns of our core.

Revive us. Breathe beauty back into our lungs and color our world with Your palette. Sing to us with lyrics our minds long for. Rescue our hearts before they bleed into oblivion and fight for us.

Find us. Search the galaxy to bring us back and turn our truth to You. Tell us all we desire to hear, all we store sweetly in our cracking bones and aching arteries. Set our flesh to mold to Your loveliness and light. Lead us to the highest mountain we can climb to find Your face, to hold the favor of Who our singeing chests must burn for.

 

Prayer:

We are a people too familiar with going our own way. We have lost ourselves while trying to find where we belong. Direct our hearts to You, to all You promise and all You can give. Open us to see that You are Who we crave, that Your ways are really ours, too. Heal us in our breaking. Amen.

Hidden Hope

 

 

For You have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord,

my confidence since my youth.

-Psalm 71:5

 

My heart trembles

with vibrations

of a hidden hope.

I have barred it

below my belief,

anchored it to my

blackest box

stored underneath

a bed of dreams.

But You see it.

You push away

the dust and reach,

cradling it between

Your gentle hands.

“Open it,” You say,

and though You

are holy and

towering above me,

I refuse.

“Open it.”

The words repeat,

softly, urgent

in my ears.

A spark, quick

and bursting,

catches under my skin.

Something calls.

With shaking fingers,

I transfer the treasure

between us.

 

Prayer:

Lord, You know my hidden hopes, the deepest dreams that dwell within me. You know how much I long for them to see the light. You remember my hopes. You see my dreams and wish to breathe into them. Help me to live for you, to align my heart to Yours and let it beat in time with all You have in store for me. Amen.

By Your Mercy

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.

-Titus 3:4-5

            There is a rawness in my chest, red and welt-fed from scraping across my rib cage each morning as I wake to find my place in the this world, and each night as I lay in scrutiny at whether my life produced any worth throughout my given hours.

            I am hopeful. I am easily persuaded of my faults. I am fearful that I will never be enough.

            Though I know that You are with me, I cry within my depths at the necessity of being of value in Your eyes, bringing value to Your cause. I worry about finding purpose as I rise and set to sleep each day, and I wonder whether I am where You need me to be. I crave to be. I crave to know that all my effort is effective, all my smiles will stay in the hearts to whom they are given.

            Will You ever let me know if I am living as You like? Will you affirm my actions and confirm my trust? Will You shape me to move in ways that lift You into the light?

            In the deepest wells of my soul, I desire to please You. To make You happy, to see the good You see in me that I sometimes can’t even see in myself. I know You tell me to rest in You, but how can I rest when I want to rejuvenate others with the grace and good news I know?

            You are the keeper of my hope, guardian of my desire. I am shy with my wants, but You see through my mask and dive into the depths of my longings. You save me from my darkest thoughts, the temptations that hook me and reel me in. Shout into my soul, the lengths You reach for me.

            You are my desire. It is in Your innermost being that calls me to keep my heart in expectancy, to hope and to keep myself moving along the road arranged for me. Each day I am allowed new breath, let each exhale exalt Your precious name.

            Come to my aid, Lover of the unlovable. Shower me with warmth; remind me why I am Yours and how beautiful I am in Your sight. By Your mercy, I am saved. Not by what I have done, but because of who You are. Remind me how finding refuge under Your safety is enough, and how Your presence is the grace I crave to cover the holes in my heart.

 

Prayer:

Lord, I struggle with knowing my place in this world. I wonder whether all I am doing is enough, and if it is pleasing to You. I desire Your approval, crave Your comfort and love. Please remind me to just rest in You, to savor Your presence and burrow in Your unwavering endearment. Amen.

Everyone

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.

-1 Thessalonians 3:12

Everyone wants to leave footprints.

            Everyone wants someone to follow those prints and find them.

            Everyone wants to be held. Be wrapped up in comfort and have their bad dreams driven away.

            Everyone wants to find the truth and be unchained from the baggage that’s pressed them down.

            Everyone wants to see a smile radiating from a face that shows they are special.

            Everyone wants to laugh from their core, joyful and unrestricted.

            Everyone wants forgiveness, reconciliation from a past that keeps pestering and won’t relent.

            Everyone wants to feel their heart burn for something spectacular.

            Everyone wants someone to sit down and just listen, to what they say and what they don’t.

            Everyone wants to be remembered.

            Everyone wants to never be forgotten.

            Everyone wants to find stillness in the midst of a chaotic and cluttered world.

            Everyone wants to be redeemed, washed in the waters of grace and dried fresh and free.

            Everyone wants to be loved, deeply, purely, without reason or clause.

 

            We all want more from our lives.

          

            It’s true.

            And you know it’s true because all of it is what your soul cries out for.

            For those footprints in the sand.

            For the footprints to follow.

            For the smallness of your troubles when nestled in safe arms.

            For discovering reality and eyes opening to a bright and believable realization.

            For the kindness of a stranger.

            For that lighthearted laughter.

            For being big and admitting mistakes, and having someone bigger tell you they are no more.

            For an ignition sparked in your soul.

            For the willing ear and hearing heart.

            For memory in your honor.

            For never letting go.

            For the quiet gently covering that chaos.

            For that grace so readily given.

            For a love that never ends.

Prayer:

Father, hear my heart’s calling, for the tremors deep within me that cry out to be heard, for their story to be told. Amen.

Radiant

When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord.

-Exodus 34:29

 

What I wouldn’t give

to have my face radiant

because I’ve been

talking to You!

To be in such close

communication,

to hear Your voice,

the blending timbres

breathed upon my face,

to feel Your heart strings

vibrating in my soul.

And as I descend

from the mountain

the people all around

me hover in awe,

for they have never seen

a light so gloriously

upon me, pouring out

through my pores,

and their deductions

that I am touched

by You, that You

have spoken and

shattered all that

divided us.

“Surely this one

has been with the Lord,”

they’d cry.

And Your hand

would reach out

to their aching hearts,

lead them up to

where You wait and

reveal Yourself

in an exuberant

display of glory.

When they return,

our robes would match

and all our eyes

would roam the dazzling

white light bouncing

from face to face,

and I would respond,

“You, too, have been

with God, and it is good.”

 

Prayer:

Lord, how I long to see Your face. How I long to be filled with Your radiance and stand as an example of Your glory glowing through my life. May I be drawn to You so people see my heart and long to know the lightness in their own. Amen.

To Such As These

But Jesus called the children to Him and said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”

-Luke 18:16

This is me.

            I have a name, but it is not easy to remember or pronounce and the person to whom it is attached to holds no real value. Or so people tell me.

I am small. And the world around me is so big.

            There are things I want.

To be comforted in the black pit of night. To raise my eyes and see sunlight streaming through my window, instead of waking to a smudged scene as dim to my heart as to my sight. To know if anything I do, any words I can stumble from my mouth, are worthy enough to catch praise. For my father to take notice.  For my mother to smile with her heart. But my wants are met with a silence, cold and loud that speaks of my insignificance.

            I am afraid to lift my eyes and meet the ones I long to light with love. But they look past me, a void between the brows, glazing as if I am not in the room. Or they are full of lead and heaviness, a dark pool of pain that turns on me. They are cruel. And all I can do is cower, hoping it won’t take long to extinguish.

            Sometimes my stomach trembles for days, feeding off itself because I don’t remember the last time I had a meal. Or even a scrap to keep me scraping along. My tiny belly bloats, and a tiredness takes root inside me that makes playing even seem impossible.  My mother wants to fill my hunger. You can see it in her waning eyes. But there are so many mouths to feed, and there is so little provision…

            Maybe one day the tasks I do will help. Maybe one day all the hours at the market, begging with my flea-specked hands outstretched will bring a loaf of bread or basket of fruit, something to sustain us and give us hope. Maybe one day my arms will be strong and I can work the fields so my mother doesn’t have to. Maybe my father will come back and care for me, like he once promised to do so long ago.

            For such a small heart, it sure sits heavy inside of me. I long to love and be loved back. I have so much to give. I have a bright, wide smile that rejoices in simple games and gentle gestures. If you were to slip your large, clean hand into my small and dusty one, you would find our fingers fit perfectly together. I’d like to crawl into your lap and delve into the depths of your care.

            I want to be heard. I want to be seen. I want to be filled with an endless love, grace poured out to me like the river I bathe in.

Tonight, I’ll lay on the floor in the corner of my mud-caked hut, chilled by the cool earth and sleep a dreamless sleep. But it’s ok that I don’t dream. You get used to forgetting what once gave you hope. What you once looked forward to. Tonight I’ll trust that I survived another day. That I am alive. That has to count for something, small as my life may be. And if I wake into another day, I will rise and wander the streets again, looking for leftovers or tatters of clothes to sustain me and my family.

This is me. This is my life. Wanting to cling to someone who will look into my drooping eyes and tell me that I am worth something. Anything. I just long for a little bit to believe in.

Help me believe.

Prayer:

Jesus, help the children. Help the little ones who want, who wander lost, lonely and in despair. Help me to help heal them, however big or small my role may be. For Your kingdom belongs to such as these. Wrap them in Your comfort, let them feel the warmth of Your overflowing love. Hold onto them tightly, Lord. Amen.

***

            Every day, thousands of children go to bed hungry, dirty, and afraid, full of desperation and a lingering loneliness. They look at the crumbling world around them, seeing no answers to the unasked questions they seek. Their families are grasping to keep together, battling unemployment, depression, and starvation. Sometimes, there is nowhere to sleep but on the ground, covered in dirt and garbage and a saturated hopelessness. They go to sleep wishing for a chance to survive, grow and live.

            You have the chance to help. Through Compassion International, you can feed and clothe children, help them receive medical attention that can be deadly to them though they are easily treatable, and give them an education that builds up their hearts and heads to provide a new and hopeful life that they otherwise might never know. You can change the plight of these children. You can encourage them that their future is glowing brighter by the day. Whether it’s sponsoring a child for a mere $38 a month, donating to medical treatment, disaster relief or the unsponsored children, or offering to pray for their hearts and homes, you will be making a significant difference in the life of a child who lives in poverty.

            It only takes one ripple to cause a tidal wave. It only takes one snowflake to start an avalanche.

            It only takes one person to teach and live out the love of Jesus.

            Please, consider changing the life of a child through Compassion International. What you give comes back tenfold and the greatest blessing is the joy blooming in you knowing a little boy or girl will have enough to eat, will be encouraged that their life is beautiful and worth so much, and that they receive the love of Christ to fully satisfy their craving heart.

            Visit www.compassion.com for more information and various ways you can help, or send me a message. I’m more than happy to answer any questions you may have.

            God bless you, and may you sincerely seek to help these broken, beautiful children.

Good Morning

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.

-Psalm 143:8

 

            Good morning.

            Did you sleep well?

            Are you ready for another day?

            Will you spend it with Me?

            Listen to those first quiet breaths as you linger in your bed. Feel the rise and fall of your chest; your lungs giving you life. I want you to treasure today, to see all of its potential. Because it’s brimming with untouched beauty, waiting for your heart to explore.

            Can you see the sunrise? Go, take a look out your window. Notice the colors? The blushing pinks and laughing lavender? They reminded Me of your skin and the softness of your smile, so I had to paint them in the sky in hopes you’d see and be reminded of Me.

            You’re going to stroll down into the kitchen, aren’t you? I can tell because of the gleam in your eye that’s visualizing a fresh, strong cup of coffee. The song in your soul is light as you take delight in your simple pleasure. And I’ll be sitting in the chair next to yours, watching the way your lips curve to the cup and the way you relish that first sip. You are beautiful when you are content.

            I want to keep the sun on your face, use it as a spotlight to see your smile and the glow of your countenance. I want to serenade you with the sky, gift you with flowers from My garden. I want today to be your best day ever. I want you to know that it is Me with the warmth in my heart at hearing the joy of your voice.

            My Love, be happy today. Let this morning lead you into peace and passion and the hope that rises softly in your heart. You are precious, your life unfolding like this early morning’s sweetness; dew upon your dreams.

            I hope You see me in all you do. I hope My heart is wrapped in yours. I hope that you never forget Me. I just want you to love Me, and see how certain I am of you.

            Savor this morning, My Love. May it fill you with the delicate echoes of My heartstrings tugging at yours and let you say that it is a good morning, indeed.

 

Prayer:

Lord, thank You for this beautiful day that You have created with me in mind. Thank You that You have woken me into another chance to walk with You, to savor Your nearness and breathe in Your beauty. Let me be reminded of Your presence and how deeply You love me. Amen.